To Unknown
by Serephy
Summary: Sequel to From Anonymous. Itachi and Sasuke's relationship breaks suddenly, down to the point when they refuse to speak to each other. The only thing that consoles Sasuke is the letters he keeps finding around the house, written by Itachi himself. Yaoi.
1. Here We Are Again

AAH! I'm already on my third attempt at fanfiction? Am I getting old??? It's not even my first anniversary yet! I'm old at a young age!!!

It's the moment you've all been waiting for…a sequel to FA! I'm glad that you all loved it, and I enjoyed writing it, so…It's time for me to crank up Muse and start typing frantically again – for Sasuke's rambling personality is back!!!

Sorry that it took me so long to post this up. My first idea for the story was completely crappy, so I spent an entire weekend thinking another one up, one that seems more realistic. So…Here it is!

**Summary: **Sequel to From Anonymous. Itachi and Sasuke's relationship breaks suddenly, down to the point when they refuse to speak to each other. Now the only thing that consoles Sasuke is the letters he keeps finding around the house, written by the Smart Ass.

* * *

**Chapter One: Here We Are Again**

Sometimes I think up a self-evaluation test, when I'm bored or when I feel depressed or down. The questions differ, depending on my mood. They range from, 'Do I have confidence?' to 'Am I stupid?' There are questions a therapist might ask, and there are always questions a teenager might ask.

But there's always a question that isn't directed towards me. It's more or less directed to no one – a question that causes me to lose my sleep and forces me to stay up all night, thinking about it. Then, eventually, I find the answer to 'Am I stupid?' and lay down on the bed, knowing the answer it is yes.

Even though I know that I'm stupid, it doesn't change the worries that I hold everyday. You can call it a feeling, or just some part of a dream that I had when I was tired and fell asleep in the bathtub again.

But lately I've been worrying that…Itachi might not love me anymore.

* * *

"Sasuke, you're so irritating sometimes," Itachi said to me in that playful yet serious tone. My eyes slowly brought themselves to accept the fact that the weekend is over and school and work is back in session – and, of course, that everyone else in the town is probably thinking the same thing: _I don't want to go to work/school! _"Get up, Sasuke."

I frowned at him (and myself) as I propped myself up against my elbow, trying to keep my eyes wide open so that they can adjust to the light that was spilling in from the window. Itachi was sitting on the chair, legs crossed, chin rested on hand, watching me while raising his eyebrow in that mysterious amusement.

"You know, you've been getting into the habit of sleeping in my bed lately," Itachi pointed out. I threw him my signature morning scowl, and then I slipped out of bed.

If you're wondering, I _have _been staying in my brother's bed a lot lately…for reasons I refuse to elaborate at the moment.

"I'm the one who usually yells at you to wake up," I said as I exit the room. I'm still not a morning person, nor do I plan to ever be. Itachi wasn't so much of a morning person – _usually. _Like my ability to think about the unnecessary, he has an ability to change his definition of _usual _and _normal. _

An ability I sometimes envy and hate.

"Get ready for school or I'm not stopping at the bakery again," Itachi said as he followed me out of the room just to settle himself back down on the couch. I gave him a 'Hn' as a reply as I stomped into my room and turned the music up loud so that I couldn't hear him complaining about how I'm going to make him late to work.

We were basically in the middle of the beginning and the middle of the school year – senior year. Do you have any idea how much that fact scares me? It's been almost two years since the craziness of the letters and Naruto's death, but for some reason those events feel like they happened just yesterday, or sometimes, just the second before. I stripped out of my messy pajamas and into a button down, short sleeved white shirt and jeans.

"Sasuke! I'm really going to leave with out you!"

Might I add that Itachi has developed no patience whatsoever? I picked up my fat school bag and let out a groan. Anyone who actually wants to get good grades and actually brings some school things home when they have to would know that when we grow older we'll all have hunchbacks. I struggled through my messed up room and slammed the door open, finding Itachi standing there, arms crossed and head cocked to the side with a weird 'older brother is annoyed' look.

"What?" I demanded, but at the same time making the mistake to let a smile crack out through my usual morning scowl.

"Ah, nothing," Itachi let out a smirk to match the smile that was rebelling against my mood. He made his way towards the door and left the house, and I heard the car revving up as I rounded up some of my notebooks that were on the dining table.

An impatient honk filled the room.

"I'm coming, you bastard!" I yelled, dashing out of the house and locking the door behind me. Itachi rolled his eyes and waits for me to get in, before he begun to drive to the school that really started it all.

* * *

_You know what I find weird? If you know me, you'd know I think everything is odd, mainly because they're there, in front of us. But there's one thing that's been bothering me a lot lately._

_When I look at myself sometimes, not only through a mirror but through those self-evaluation tests I give myself when I'm unsure or just plain out bored, my mind starts to wonder what everyone around me thinks of me. Do they see me as good looking or ugly, smart or stupid? Do I stick out in the crowd like a sore thumb or do I blend in, not important enough to be noticed? What are strangers' thoughts about me if they see me, but don't know me? _

_If you don't get my drift, I understand because I'm being really indirect right now._

_Just think about it. You see things, you think about things, your IQ is unique, your personality is unique, and your perspective of everything around you is distinctive only to you. _

_If you think about people like this, animals, even, doesn't it make you feel just…I don't know – weird, I guess – that everyone else has their own perspective of life, totally different from your own? _

_I'm confusing myself. If you get me, good for you. If you don't, just think about it._

* * *

I sighed, putting the pencil down and staring at the paper I randomly wrote for no apparent reason. It's no good to try to silence my wandering mind anymore – either I yell it out and commit social suicide, or I write all my thoughts down on a piece of paper and throw it out while hoping no one would smooth out the crumpled, flimsy product of the once mighty trees and laugh at me for my stupidity and my own weird human philosophy.

I crumpled up the paper and toss it into the garbage can, and then I sighed again. I had already finished lunch (more of dunked it out into the garbage because I wasn't so hungry) but I didn't feel like going to the roof. So, there I was, wandering in the middle of empty hallways.

Usually at this time, Naruto would run up to me and ask what's wrong. I'd say go away, dumb ass, though maybe I would appreciate his attempt to cheer me up when I wasn't really down anyway.

I leaned against the wall and stare at the ground. A clique of freshman girls passed by, giving me a sideward glance before scurrying off into the cafeteria. I smirk, remembering the old days when we were like that, when we were ignorant of the kind of torture high school gives you, especially when you have to worry about college, an obsessive older brother who doesn't love you as an older brother, a death of a best friend that you will never get over, an annoying blonde who wants to be a fashion designer but would do a better job at being part of the nosy paparazzi, and a mind that won't stop talking to itself.

The hallways are silent again. I closed my eyes and I thought without thinking.

On days like this, I really wish Naruto was here.

* * *

I walked home. Itachi wasn't out of work yet and he doesn't bother to buy me a car, even though I think he's going to get me one for no damn reason if I treat him in the right way – and I don't mean that sexually, I mean if I ignore him for long enough that he'll buy me a car so that the silence that I would place between us would break immediately because I would be so filled with gratitude and appreciation.

The problem with that is that Itachi's sensitive at times (Itachi...? Sensitive?), especially when it comes to our relationship. Once, when I got angry at him (for a cause that I do not remember at all), he left the house again, causing me to think that he left for good this time. I found him at our parents' graves. There was something about him at the time that seemed different than usual – I think there was a lot more grief on his face. I couldn't tell if he was crying, though, because it was raining when I spotted him.

Itachi just lucks out like that. I still have the luck of the unlucky gods.

It's a mile from school to my house, and I don't mind walking it out, anyway. Sometimes I run, if I'm not wearing anything special, if I'm in the mood, or if the weather decides to hate me. The good thing about the mile walk is that Gai-sensei marks me down for 'Very Excellent' whenever he forces us to run a mile or two.

I saw the house from the bakery – it's just behind the house that is behind the bakery. If I feel mischievous or tired, I would make my way behind the bakery, cut through the neighbor's backyard (hopefully I won't get caught), and enter my house as a short cut. If not, I'll take the sidewalk around…the long way, completing the mile.

But, no, today isn't the day for mischief.

I walked the long way around, watching the cars pass by. My thoughts on 'different perspectives' come back again, mainly because I can't shut up. I looked at the cars while they're waiting for the red light to turn green – you won't believe what kind of things people do in their cars when they don't think anyone's looking. I saw a couple getting it on, a bunch of people singing to music with someone in the backseat with an iPod, turning the volume on the little machine up to maximum, a young girl crying her eyes out all the way in the backseat with her father up front looking angry, and also I see a girl who looks like she just got up in the morning, changing while driving in the car.

Shrugging, I turn and walk down an empty street, then turn again, my house in view.

Itachi wasn't home yet – he usually never is. Sometimes when I see his car in the driveway, I'd open the door quickly, curious to see why he's home early. You know his excuse? "I missed you."

I find that sweet and very odd at the same time.

I grabbed my keys and fumbled for the house key, the one with a weird, random number on it that I don't think has to do anything with the house at all. I opened the door and closed it behind me, letting out a sigh to show the whole world that, finally, I'm alone.

Getting time alone was getting harder to do everyday – it was either Itachi stalking me because he was worried or he missed me, Ino stalking me because she wants to get the scoop on my daily life, Minato stalking me because he's still suspicious of Itachi, or a weird jet black car sometimes following me on my way back home. Alone time is as precious as water in the desert of my life, and getting some Sasuke time is what I need twelve hours each day.

Sasuke time is rare in real time, if you didn't know.

But right now, my bed never looked more heavenly than it does now.

* * *

"_Move or..."_

"_Leave…alone!"_

A laugh.

"_I placed…"_

"_Don't…anything…him…"_

"_Itachi, are you…"_

"_Just…alone…any…"_

"…_your…know."_

"_Have…choice."_

Silence. A sigh. Another laugh. Footsteps.

"_It's a deal, then."_

Slam of a door. Thud.

"_Damn it."_

Blackout.

* * *

When I woke up, I had that clammy feeling. You know, the feeling you get when you fall asleep in the middle of the day with the clothes you've been wearing for the entire day, when you have a dreamless slumber. It was dark – I figured that it was nighttime already, and then it hit me that I forgot to do my homework.

I groaned and thought up a stupid excuse, not for the teachers, but for myself. _Sleeping comes first. If you don't sleep, you have no thought energy whatsoever – the only thing that's on your mind when you're deprived of sleep is sleep, so you'll fall asleep when you're doing anything other than sleeping because you're sleepy. _

"Ah, whatever," I mumbled, getting up quickly but sitting back down because of the drowsiness and dizziness that invaded my mind. Not the kind of drowsiness you get when you've been up late at night and couldn't even get a gist of sleep, the kind that you feel when you've just taken some strong medicine. I felt a sharp pain on my left forearm, and I noticed tissues that someone attempted to tie around my arm. I pulled them off and saw a small hole in my skin, and it was bleeding slightly. The small hole immediately made me think of getting a shot.

_Who would want to give me a shot while I'm asleep? _I shrugged the suspicious thoughts away and pushed the drowsy feeling away, too. The last thing I needed was to begin failing because of a mysterious person giving me a shot in the middle of my nap – a shot with unknown effects and whatnot…

I kicked the wall, bringing my mind's attention to the pain that now arose from my toe instead of the mysterious person.

I left my dark bedroom, and my night-adjusted eyes reluctantly embraced the light that emitted from the living room. Itachi was sitting on the couch, looking tired as well. He had a book in his hand, and his eyes seemed to be staring at one particular word instead of reading.

"Hey," I grinned, thankful, as usual, that he still remained in this house. Itachi didn't look up, smile, or say anything. In fact, he didn't move at all. I froze, then inched closer, and finally let out a sigh of relief, spotting his chest heave up and down. Yes, I thought he was dead – have a problem with that? "What's up?"

As you can see, I have a short-attention span when it comes to my brother. Homework is out of the question.

Itachi flinched and looked up, like he hadn't heard me when I first said 'Hey'. There was that depressed look in his eyes that caused my skin to freeze up and my round world to be picked up by some careless kids, to be thrown around the room and to see how long they could keep the ball up – and eventually my world would hit a sharp edge and start to propel itself through the room, screaming for help, but knowing help will not come because everyone in the room is staring at my world with wonder and laughter, like my pain means nothing but their relief – my world will then fall to the ground, flattened, crumpled, and back to the form it once took, except different – dead.

"You okay?" I asked, sitting down next to him, hoping that a conversation could be fired up so I could lead it to the point that I can ask him about the person who mysteriously gave me a shot.

"Hn."

It was my turn to flinch. I hate it when he starts saying 'Hn.' He hates it when I start saying 'Hn.' There was a point in time when we promised never to speak those two letters again, because it always made us think that something wrong is going on, when usually everything in reality is going all right.

But something is wrong. I could tell.

"Hey, talk to me," I insisted, getting that feeling that my chest would burst and I would become that lonely person I used to be – the person I was without his warm presence. I seized his hand and winced at the touch of his freezing fingers. Itachi didn't look up at me again, though. He was intent on reading the book. His eyes were moving again, left to right, and then shifting back and a little lower again, continuing the process until the page rustled and turned, when his eyes shifted its focal point back to the first word on the new and unfamiliar page.

I bit my lip and squeezed his hand gently as I fought back the sudden urge to rip him a part so that he would at least stand to look at me. Instead of resorting to violence, I pulled the book away from him. Itachi glared at me and reached for the book that was in my hand. "No way I'm giving this to you," I said, bringing the book out of his reach. Itachi reached again, and somehow I found ways to avoid his attempts to get it back. There was a smile on his face now, and the worries that I had changed into a joke, the actions that I made weren't as serious anymore.

He eventually gave up on getting the book from me by going for it directly – Itachi knew my weaknesses perfectly. Itachi took my chin and pulled it up so that his lips were less than a centimeter apart. I shut my eyes, smiling slightly, because if he did kiss me, all of my worries about the 'Hn' problem would be gone overwith.

And I swear, he was about to kiss me.

He didn't stop, but a pain shot itself up my left arm, the feeling like millions of needles puncturing my left arm. I let out a surprised cry, pulling away from Itachi and clutching my arm.

Itachi's eyes widened and he looked like he was about to yell out to help me, like he was about to pull me close like he always did and tell me that it's alright, but something stopped him. Itachi closed his eyes and turned away, picking up the book that I dropped and left the room without looking back.

Once he left, the pain was gone.

* * *

_Hey, Naruto…_

_It's been a long while since I wrote to you, and I couldn't help but write to you right now. Something's wrong with my big brother, the one that you didn't like because he 'stole me from you'. You might not like him that much, but…it's not like you to hate someone for a reason like that._

_I don't know…There's just something wrong._

_If you could write back, I know you could. _

_It's not only about him, either. I really miss you._

_From, Sasuke._

I stared at the letter as it burned in the candlelight. Every single letter I write is beginning to sound less and less like me every day. I closed my eyes and rubbed a hand apprehensively against my left forearm, praying that the pain would never come back, praying that Naruto would come back, and praying that the Itachi that I knew would come back, too.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, but my eyes were still shut tight. First thought of the day: last night never happened, right? Second thought of the day: Damn, my arm hurts. Third thought of the day: Please don't tell me there's school today…?

I forced my eyes open and groaned. The morning air was crisp and new, the morning sun was shimmering in through the window, and the morning feel of crappiness was back. Today was Tuesday. So there is school. Damn.

My left arm seared with pain for less than five seconds before the pain disappearing again. I shut my eyes and squeezed the arm for a second, feeling just a trickle of wet liquid on my fingers. I really need to put a band-aid on this.

And if my left forearm is burning like this, that means that last night did happen.

Damn.

I got changed and left the room, finding a note on the refrigerator.

_Gone to work already._

_Itachi_

Now there was something wrong. I frowned, because I knew for a fact that whenever Itachi left notes for me, they were all signed by the Smart-ass, _From Anonymous._ Itachi signed Itachi. I groaned again, when I thought of the mile walk to school. The mile walk is definitely not okay when it comes to the morning. Afternoon is fine. Morning. Not.

I glanced at the clock and then let out another groan to see that I woke up fifteen minutes late, meaning I don't have time to walk to school, nor do I have time to stop at the bakery for a muffin.

But what I do have time to do is to run to school as fast as I can and hope that I make it in time and that I won't die during school because of all of these thoughts that keep invading my mind because of the stupid incident called 'Last Night'…

I swiftly pulled open a drawer, seeing the First Aid stuff in there. I opened the white box, and the first thing I saw was something that I believe had nothing to do with health. A letter sat in the box, on top of the pack of band aids. I shook my head, deciding not to spend the time to read it at all as I seized the band aids and slapped one messily on my bleeding forearm. I stuffed the letter into one of the pockets in my fat backpack, picked up the said backpack and dashed out the door, sighing in exasperation when I locked the door behind me.

School, here I come. School…

Half way to the school, I stopped running and sat down on a bench, panting. A thought slapped me in the face when I realized that I really shouldn't go to school at all.

I stayed on the bench and opened my backpack, feeling for the letter. The paper was slightly wrinkled, but it was legible. The handwriting was in that familiar mix of print and cursive, making a new entire font that I remembered I used to call…Itachi.

_To Sasuke_

_Am I welcome to say long time no see? Or long time no write or something stupid like that? _

_I'll give you a moment to breathe and to recover from the small shock this must have given you. But trust me; I never planned to write to you again like this. I never even really wanted to, but something just came up, something that I can't explain to you right now. I'm sure that this'll work itself out soon._

_So, here we are again. I have no idea what else to say._

_Maybe I should just apologize for the past again, and apologize for everything and anything that comes up in the future. Making mistakes is a human trait – making the same mistakes over and over is a trait that perhaps only I made a habit out of. _

_From Anonymous_

_P.S. – Don't talk to me about this. Don't tell anyone about this. Keep this to yourself._

I closed my eyes and gently placed the letter back into its creamy white envelope, letting out a long sigh in the process. Yeah, I never expected to get another letter from the Smart-ass, especially during the period of time that Itachi seemed to be avoiding me.

Pushing myself off of the wooden bench, I heaved my fat and overweight backpack on my shoulder and turned the opposite direction in which I came – the direction that pointed towards home. Staying in public was a dangerous thing to do, despite the fact that I'm basically eighteen and can take care of myself.

The only place that I figured could be safe enough to think hard about this was the shelter, the place of refuge that I call home.

* * *

I thought about the P.S. note when I stood by the phone, debating whether or not to call Itachi and demand what the hell was going on. I picked up the phone, shaking my head and deciding to figure things out before anything bad happens. I dialed the number slowly, not wanting to get it wrong the first time.

The phone rang over and over again in my ear, and before the voicemail could say anything I put the phone down and shut my eyes again, holding my breath, as if I was wishing that the phone would ring and I'd pick up the phone and hear his voice, asking what's wrong like nothing happened between us at all.

Suddenly, the pen was in my hand and a blank piece of college-ruled paper was in front of me, cleanly ripped from a notebook. My mind immediately started to race as words were furiously written on the paper, all out of anger, sadness, and regular mind-ranting.

_To Unknown_

_I have no idea what the hell you're doing by writing me again, you Smart-ass, but if this is a practical joke you'd better stop now. I'm not even going to call you a Smart-ass anymore, mainly because I don't know if you're really that person who wrote to me way back when. You're unknown from now on, even if you're my brother. You're unknown from now on because I don't know who you are anymore, even after one day of being ignored and avoided, and being in pain and mysteriously given a shot by some person._

_This better not be a practical joke. I'll seriously kill you._

_And trust me; never have I expected to find a letter from you. The last thing I wanted was to go back to the chaos that was my life about two years ago, when I didn't know what I wanted and I didn't know what the people around me wanted. _

_Now, I have no idea what you want or need from me. You're bringing me back to that time, and I have no intention of going back. If you're upset, you have absolutely no idea how angry I am at you right now – how confused I am._

_Then again, I'm just stupid like that, right? I'm your pathetic little brother, right? _

_I'm tired of this, Itachi. Just tell me what's going on._

_I don't even know why I'm still using this title._

_From Anonymous_

It was more like a letter of venting out anger than a letter to someone. I walked into his room and placed under his lamp, that lamp that he always turns on when he can't go to sleep and decides to read at night. I left the room and hoped that he would find it.

I kicked table as I passed by and I plopped myself down on the bed, wondering what was wrong with this world.

* * *

Gahhhhh…..

Was that really bad or really good or just normal??? It took me so long and I'm so sorry, but I think I'm back into the From Anonymous mood again. Sayonara, writer's block!!!

Please review and tell me how you feel!!!!!! It makes me write SO much better, please? Don't just favorite it or alert it, REVIEW.

Koneko


	2. Burden Of Your Hate

Ahh, thank you for the supportive reviews. I think my writing style has been failing lately, but I'll try my best!!! I think I made a crappy start, but…here goes.

Hope you like this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter Two: Burden Of Your Hate**

Since Itachi had gone for most of my remembered life, we had a lot of things to catch up on – holidays, jokes, habits, friends, memories, stories, and a lot more.

Halloween was nothing special, since I was never really one to trick-or-treat or anything like that. But I remember when I was little, when I could still stand to be out in public wearing any costume at all, Itachi would always volunteer to walk me and my friends (friends being Sakura and Naruto and the group) around the neighborhood. Even though he was still young enough to be going around in costume, I don't remember him even wanting to dress up and scream 'Trick-or-Treat!' at any person in a household with a huge bowl of candy. Halloween was also one of the only times that my friends would see Itachi, and they'd comment on how cool he was, too.

Then there was Christmas, that holiday where Itachi got hordes and hordes of presents from people that he knew, and many from people that he didn't know. I got a few from my parents/Santa Claus, the man that I never really believed in when Itachi accidentally broke the news to me when I was five (I never got to live Christmas like a kid). That didn't stop my parents from putting presents in my stocking that claimed that they were from Santa, but I recognized my mother's handwriting anyway. Heck, we all knew that Itachi knew there really was no Santa, but mother kept putting presents in his stocking anyway.

The thing I really looked forward to in Christmas was Itachi's present. He'd always avoid giving it to me in front of our parents who always held the camera during the entire gift opening section. He'd sneak into my room and leave it on my bed, and I'd come back and see the present there. There was no tag on it or anything, but I always knew it was from Itachi. The present would be something that would originally be given to a female, but I loved it anyway. They ranged from jewelry to any little thing he happened to hear me beg for throughout the year.

New Years Eve, the holiday for families. Instead of getting together with family friends (which we had none, since all of our parents' friends were unknown to us, Itachi was a loner, and my friends held it but my father didn't want to go), we'd stay up all night, like everyone else, drinking hot chocolate with those tiny marshmallows and whipped cream. And instead of screaming loudly, we'd just wait and…I don't know, be the entirely calm family that we are? When Itachi turned eleven he didn't feel like taking the excuse to stay up late anymore, so he left the living room before midnight even began to approach. That made New Years Eve/New Years Day very boring, because my mother would go all overprotective of me and my father would glare at me.

Valentine's Day, a holiday that no one celebrated in the household, giving the exception of my parents. Itachi would insist on them leaving and having a date every Valentine's night, and he'd always give me sideward glances every once and a while, like he was worried that I'd been bombarded by girls one day, like he is. On Valentine's Day, for some reason that we never elaborated on, Itachi and me would always be…I don't know, closer.

Then came Easter, that day that always seemed to depress me despite all of the bright colors and happy Easter bunnies that no one believes in. I'd come over a friend's house – usually Naruto's – and we'd go Easter egg hunting in teams. The only downfall of that bit of fun is that the team that had Naruto in it always won. Now either he aided his parents in hiding the eggs, or he watched them hide them all. Itachi would tag along sometimes, when he's bored, but he'd always be the one to pick me up. While we walk home, Itachi would steal at least one piece of chocolate from my stash.

Nowadays, we don't really celebrate Halloween. We'd sit outside on the porch and give the kids candy, and when some teenagers come by we'd just throw it at their faces and watch them struggle for the candy.

Christmas is the holiday in which we don't spend time with anyone else in the world – just enjoying each other's company and when we're bored I'd force Itachi to prank call someone just to see how shocked they would be when the found out that _the _Uchiha Itachi phone tapped them.

At New Years Eve, we'd go over Minato's house, and a lot of other people would come. Now is when we scream (well, Itachi just stood back and secretly smiled and enjoyed himself) and enjoy the New Year, while some people exclaim their New Year's Resolution. My latest one is the one that I always make now – make sure Itachi doesn't do anything stupid again. Obviously I failed that already…

On Valentine's Day…well…

Easter, Sakura always hosts a party for little kids. Sometimes we tag along, just to watch their ecstatic and innocent faces as they savor each and every moment of the holidays. I recently found out that Itachi is a real sucker for cute little boys.

Every holiday I'd ask him if he enjoyed the day. He's kiss me and say,

"I enjoy everyday with you."

* * *

I tugged at my shirt when I heard a car move up in the driveway, its engine halting. Immediately, I began to wonder if he really did enjoy every day he spent with me, because it seemed unreal when he walked up the steps and unlocked the door. 

"Ah…Sasuke," Itachi said softly.

_Yeah…and…?_

My death glare was probably intimidating him, because he hoisted up his bag again and left for his room, shutting the door behind him in a somewhat soft slam. My ears strained when I heard a click that meant that he locked the door. So much for confronting him like that. I closed my eyes and hoped that he would find my letter – and if he did, maybe he would come out and explain everything that's going on.

But of course he didn't, and I was left waiting in the kitchen, wondering why the hell I bothered in the first place.

* * *

Next morning, tiring morning, I-Hate-Mornings morning, and I wish yesterday was a dream morning. 

Yeah, I wish.

The sun was being unusually mean to me today, because it decided to wake me up in its superior light. My eyes burned because they were so used to the darkness that was spotted with pixels that annoyed me until I fell asleep. Rubbing my eyes, I stood up and made my way to the bathroom, not even bothering to hope if Itachi's here or not – he probably isn't. If he decides to break any kind of relationship, he does it thoroughly.

"Ahh!"

Perfect. My morning is just made because I slipped on something on the ground. I grumbled as I heaved myself up and rubbed my eyes again. The thing that made me slip a piece of paper – an envelope, to be exact. I didn't even think '_Oh, no, not again…'_because this was to be expected from someone like my big brother.

I mercilessly ripped the envelope on, taking out my morning anger on it. I slightly ripped the paper, too, but it didn't matter. Sitting down on the table, I read it through quickly three times before reading it slowly to understand it.

_To…Unknown, then._

_Now that I think about it, you haven't changed at all. Truthfully, I am glad that I'll be able to take that title up again. _

_Again, I can't tell you anything about what's going on. You'll get mad at me and do something stupid. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that…never mind. It's not a practical joke, Sasuke. It's something that we have to wait out. For now, just keep writing these letters._

_But I know you enough to know that you're rolling your eyes and thinking, 'There's no way I'm going to write these letters again'. Please, Sasuke. It's either that or don't talk to me at all. Your choice. _

_And yet again, do not talk to me about this. Do not. The last thing we need is trouble. And as much as it pains me to say this, outside of the little world we make when we write these letters, there is no such thing as 'We' anymore. I'm giving you a choice, again. Either pretend you hate me or hate me. It's my fault that this happened – I won't run away from the blame any longer._

_It's my own lesson to learn to handle the burden of your hate, Sasuke._

_From, Anonymous_

Of course he wouldn't give me answers. He's the kind of guy that would give me answers last minute, when it was do or die time, when he didn't have a choice. He gave me two questions to answer, and the answers already bubbled up in my mind once I read the words completely.

_To, Unknown_

_SMART-ASS – SMART-ASS – SMART-ASS_

_There. You happy now? _

_I promise I won't freak out or go crazy or anything. Just tell me what's going on. If you don't, I will freak out and go crazy, you got that? I have no idea what's going on, and you haven't even told me about that weird guy who gave me a shot while I was asleep. With what's going on lately, this might as well be a practical joke. Though knowing you, it probably isn't._

_Also…Give me a reason to keep writing these letters. Why do you insist on keeping our relationship underground? Are you ashamed or something? Because that would be really stupid of you to realize your shame now. I'm considering not talking to you at all, but I need answers, and I need them NOW._

_I'm not even going to answer to those last two paragraphs. Why the hell do you always make my life a living hell? Why do you want me to hate you all of a sudden? Again, I still need information; if I don't get it then you might as well add yourself to the list of things that Uchiha Sasuke hates. If you want to carry that burden, carry it. _

_I am not gonna tolerate this stupid stuff anymore, Itachi._

_From Anonymous_

I banged my head against the table on purpose, feeling that this letter would seriously end the relationship completely, forcing him to move out, never to be seen again. That incident almost two years ago with the letters was pure coincidence, some amazing luck on my part, but I highly doubted it would happen again.

Placing the letter on the kitchen counter, hidden under the coffee maker, I rubbed my and against my nearly bruised head, still considering the fact that I should take that letter, rip it up, and rewrite a new one that would look a lot nicer and compassionate that I really feel.

I trudged to my room and pulled on a change of clothes, taking my dear old time because my mind was on something other than getting to school. I knew I couldn't cut school again, because everyone says that it's unlike me to be absent at all. My reputation was one of the only things that I was determined to keep.

As I left my room, again rounding up all of my books that were strewn across the house. By the time I was ready to leave and to make my way to school as fast as possible because I had no ride, it was already ten minutes into the school day. I groaned as I smashed open the door and closed it behind me, taking a few deep breaths before breaking into a sprint, now determined to give myself a new personal record on the mile run.

A honk from behind me caused me to jump and lose balance, falling face down on the dirty sidewalk, scraping my knee in the process as well (I'm gaining clumsiness?). I sat up and immediately sent the honker the signature Uchiha death glare. My hands balled into tight fists when I realized it was that black car that follows me whenever I commute from school to home.

"What the hell do you want?" I demanded, standing up and brushing myself off briskly. Another honk. Whoever this stalker was, he was persistent. The passenger's door opened, screaming, 'come in'. I paused, wondering if I could trust the stalker stranger and make it to school in time (hopefully with no injuries), or if I should just make a run for it and probably be caught by the jet black car anyway.

"Well?" A creepy voice that somehow reminded me of Michael Jackson reached my ears, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up – a sign that told me to run for my life or else get molested. I racked my brain a little, trying to remember where I heard the voice before. Another "Well?" came, this time with an impatient tone. I dug my fingers into my arm. I knew how impatient people are – living with Itachi had some good points other than the company and…affection.

At the time, I knew that all I could do was play along and pray.

I walked to the door and sat down on the leather chair, closing the door and closing my eyes in the process, knowing that whatever would happen next would happen, and there was probably nothing I could do about it. Hey, it was either that or get run over. Whatever floats my boat.

My fingers dug into my arm, deeper this time. _Orochimaru. _The car reeked of him, the voice's origin found. I didn't dare look at him, because insults of his ugliness was already burning to be screamed out. "Hmm…" I heard his voice again, and this time I was certain. A small jingle was heard – probably those freaky long earrings that he wears.

My arm was bleeding. I didn't care. He started to drive, and I didn't care where, either. If he drives me to school, then fine. If he drives me to some sort of weird hideout, kill me now. If he plans to drive me to someplace desolate where there's no one and rape in the car, fine by me as long as I get to throw him across the universe.

"What's wrong, boy?"

No doubts now. It was definitely Orochimaru. I opened my eyes hesitantly but still refused to look the man straight in the eye. Instead I looked out the window and watched the scenery go by smoothly, and I imagined that I was in Itachi's car, his hand on my knee and a radio playing familiar music that we both know by heart.

"Hm? Look at me, Sasuke-kun."

_Refuse. Refuse. Refuse. Don't. Never. Not in a million years. Scratch that. Not in a billion. Excuse me, I'm going to school with my big brother._

Red light. Damn. That gives him time to toy with me.

Orochimaru yanked my hair to the side, forcing my watering eyes to look at him. I looked down at the clean car floor, trying to somehow calculate how many atoms were on a square centimeter of that ground. "Hey, we're going to be spending a lot of time together from now on." His creepy voice scared me. I imagined that I was still in the car with Itachi, and we'd both be laughing at a stupid commercial that came up that featured Orochimaru attempting to sing 'I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt…'

"Itachi told me to bring you to school," Orochimaru said. Even though he was more than three inches away, I still felt his breath on my face. That gross, gross disgusting breath that filled my mind with horrible memories of the time I worked in that perverted restaurant that at times forced me to wear a stupid revealing maid's outfit that caused all of the perverts that went in the perverted restaurant to feel the need to up skirt me and pull me into an alleyway to fuck the shit out of me…

"Let go."

_Rebel. Revolutionist. Perverts shall all die. Whenever Orochimaru sings 'The Thriller', one half of his soul will die. He should be dead by now. This is only a dream and right now I'm really at school with all my friends including Naruto and we'd be joking around about the stupid stuff that we always joke about, and I'd know everything would be going around fine because Itachi would be waiting at home with a warm smile on his face and…_

"Now, now, don't be like that. I know that we'll be good _friends _soon."

"My brother wants me to be with you?" I demanded, my hands clawing at his chest so that he would let go of me. Stupid red light. It's that red light that turns green for five seconds only to torture the people in the back with the fact that they'll never make it to wherever they're going in time.

Orochimaru let out that cackle that sounded like a rapist/molester that was enjoying himself (which, of course, he was). "Yes, he told me himself. Now, you _will _do what I say all the time, you hear?"

I nodded slowly, cursing my brother as the red light turned to green, allowing us to pass the intersection. The only good thing that came out of that was that the school was in sight, and that Orochimaru turned into the parking lot, stopping the car.

I was about to step out of the car and rush into the school until Orochimaru seized my spikes and pulled me back into the car, closing the door as well. _Screw you, _was all that I thought. The more minutes it took me to get to class, the more minutes of scolding I was going to get.

A triumphant smirk rested on the snake's face, as he whispered again, "Do as I say, always." He crashed his lips onto mine, forcing his gross tongue into my mouth and pushing me up against the window, his hands around my wrists so that I couldn't move. I struggled, but Orochimaru's body was heavy against mine. The handle to open the door was so close yet so far. My eyes were shut tight when I felt his hands around my waist. I said a silent prayer to all of the heavenly beings out there, hoping that he would rape me or touch me or do anything to me.

"Don't." I managed to choke out. "I…have to go to school."

Orochimaru looked up through the window and he saw Kakashi walking through the hallways, approaching. The white haired sensei didn't seem to know what was going on inside the car, but he happened to realize that it was staying in front of the school for much too long.

"Go. I'll pick you up," Orochimaru snapped, opening the door and allowing my body to fall out before driving away so that Kakashi wouldn't see who was inside.

Never before have I been so thankful that I was near the school.

* * *

Kakashi dragged me into the hallway, while I dragged my backpack behind me. He had an angry and worried look in his eyes as he stomped me into an empty office. The sensei ordered me to sit – I did, not wanting to disobey him when he's this…mad. 

"Sasuke, where were you yesterday and the first fifteen minutes of today?" Kakashi demanded. I blinked. Uh…I skipped school and was caught up in a stupid letter that my brother sent me in the morning.

"So I missed a few hours of school, big whoop. Kiba does it all the time and you never yell at him like this," I groaned. I was feeling rebellious that day. No way in hell was I going to respond to anyone ever again, because that Orochimaru already freaked me out enough for three years, thank you very much…

"…Sasuke…ah, never mind," Kakashi sighed. "Go to class, I'm leaving my own class waiting."

I watched him walk out of the office. Kakashi really does play his favorites, now doesn't he?

* * *

Yes, people. Lunch topics. We're freaking seniors, and we're still that immature. Stupid. 

**Lunch Topic: **My absence and yesterday's lesson…?

I plopped down at the table in my usual spot, getting extra room because Naruto's…well, what he is. Not here. Gone. Dead. Rotting. Giving the ground nutrients and-

"Sasuke, where were you yesterday?" Kiba lazily asked, picking at the supposed slice of pizza that lay in front of him. I shrugged, not feeling the need to answer.

Young freshman sat at the table behind me, and I could feel their eyes on me. What was I, the new (well, not exactly new) high school god? Oh, one day they might find out that their idol isn't really what they think he is, that he has troublesome troubles at home that includes a rapist trailing you and an older brother that strayed from his promise yet again, and that I'm really an incestuous freak and homosexual and I suffer with my pathetic name that has it written all over me…

"Sasuke-kun, I missed you! You're not usually absent and you missed…an _interesting _and _random _class yesterday!" Ino came up from behind me and gave me her signature fan-girl glomp. She was probably begging those innocent freshmen to join her fan club and not Sakura's. "Where were you?"

"Home. I didn't feel too well, that's all." Technically, I wasn't lying.

Ino pouted and took her seat in Naruto's old one, her devious interrogating grin appearing yet again on her pale face. Ino flipped her hair back and sighed. "You still missed one of the most awkward classes that in which everyone actually paid attention to."

"Was it in Biology or something like that?" I smirked, the idea of what it is already bubbling in my mind.

Sakura shook her head, looking nervous. I stared at her intensely, trying to figure out what she was hiding from me. Sakura jerked up and gave out a fake laugh as she exclaimed, "It's really nothing important, Sasuke-kun! It was really…random, like Ino said. Nothing ultimately uncomfortable for most of us and…" The pink-haired girl realized that she was babbling too much.

My eyes looked her up and down as she let out more fake giggles and laughs as she looked apprehensively to the left and right.

I groaned. "Going to the roof."

* * *

The roof is still my haven. A birdhouse to the bird, a den to a bear, a room with a lock and radio to a teenager. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it, trying to assure myself that no one will bust in and ruin my life. My eyes closed – the feeling of wanting to just fall asleep and forget about the stupid life that I'm living kept growing in the few minutes I spent up here. 

I remembered that during computer lab, the teacher deemed it necessary to teach us computer safety – MySpaces and all. Naruto and many other students fought back against what they believed what are right. The talk was when we were in sixth grade, and eventually it lead to lying about your age.

"_Lying is lying. It's a sin, no matter how you put it." _That old teacher was a real freak who always classified everything into two categories, holy and unholy. If you ask him if a doorknob is holy or unholy, he'd say that it is holy because (yes, he has a reason) it allows you entrance into a room.

"_Yeah, but we're lying for our safety!" _Naruto, the rebellious and yet idealistic boy he is, stands with the kids. He glares back at the teacher.

"_If you have to lie to make yourself safe, you aren't in a safe place," _the teacher wisely remarked.

I was half-asleep by that time, but that statement made me open my eyes. I shifted in my seat a little uncomfortably, staring out the window with my fingers digging into the chair. Naruto was glancing around the room for support, while I just stared out the window.

The teacher goes on to say that this world grew to become a dangerous place.

Doesn't he realize that since this world is a dangerous place, in tough situations we have to lie?

"_So, what do you want us to do about it?" _Naruto demands. _"Delete them?"_

"_Yes. Class is over, pack up and leave,"_ the teacher briskly said. A few groans emitted from students mouths and the already crotchety teacher snapped at them to shut the hell up.

I silently trailed behind the class, thinking about everything that they had said. I knew what he meant – because you're in a dangerous place, you feel the need to lie to keep yourself safe. If you're in a dangerous place, you should erase yourself from them.

Then if this world is a dangerous place, do we have to delete ourselves from them, too?

My eyes opened and I shook my head. All the time, I kept thinking of death as an option. But ever since I got my brother back, the option faded. Someone seemed to have colored it up again. I knew that the problems I had weren't so serious, but for some reason…

It's too easy to get tired of it all.

* * *

My fingers gripped my jacket sleeve as I stood outside of the restaurant that I worked in. The rain was pouring heavily, and my stupid jacket didn't have a hood. The weather man said that it would be a nice, sunny day today. Screw that. 

And Itachi was also stupid enough to decide not to answer the phone the ten million times I called.

My home was just a little over a mile, since the restaurant was just a few blocks away from the school. I felt uneasy running home in the rain, and I considered taking a bus or taxi, or even deigning to go hitchhiking. Walking or running home didn't seem like an option to me.

Not in the rain. Not when I already feel crappy.

Headlights turned a corner, and a familiar black car pulled up in front of me. My hand left my sleeve as I grabbed the strap of my backpack, swiftly mustering up the courage to take the heavy, fat bag and slam it across the pervert's face.

"Sasuke-kun, don't you need a ride?" His creepy voice. My other hand curled into a fist as I bit my lip, thinking of what I should do. People stared at us, me, standing out in the rain without a hood while looking mad, and that jet black car with an open door and a stench of smoke radiating from it. I considered the possibility that I could just run into the restaurant and offer to work a few extra hours.

"Fine," I muttered under my breath, hoping he didn't hear the defiant tone. I climbed into the car, the smell of smoke never leaving my senses. I hadn't noticed that it smelt like that the first time I went in. Maybe next time I'll realize he has a corpse of another boy he decided to rape in the trunk.

"Hmm. You're all wet," Orochimaru had his sneaky smile on his face. I shivered, both from the cold water of the rain that I realized was soaking through the part of my jacket that I left open and from the fact that Orochimaru had his hand on my thigh. His hands felt freezing, like he just came from the North Pole.

"W-why are you…stalking me?" I tried to prevent my teeth chattering from the cold. He had the air conditioner on. I glared at him like he was truly a maniac that deserved to be thrown into hell, a fiery place with no air conditioner.

"I'm not stalking you," Orochimaru smugly said, his hand squeezing my leg rather harshly. I bit my lip harder to keep myself from crying out in pain. I felt blood dribble down my chin by my own wound. Blood tastes metallic. A taste that I've learned to get used to. "Your brother asked me to take you to school and back from now on."

Stop light. And it's that evil one, too.

I open my mouth to protest but Orochimaru squeezed my thigh a little harder this time.

More metallic liquid. I refuse to cry out. I refuse to give him any sort of pleasure.

Orochimaru gave me a grin as me unbuckled the seatbelt that I put on. Apparently, he was being a bad influence because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt either. The only security blanket that I had was gone now as he played with my waistband and roughly pressed his lips against mine.

* * *

_To Unknown_

_You've always had a temper, Sasuke. I still can't tell you what's up, but since you replied I take it that you still would want to communicate like this. It's fine with me, and I'm glad that you learned to keep your mouth shut about this._

_You've always been impatient, too. Sorry, but I'll have to try your patience in this matter. I can't give you answers just yet, and I'll figure this out on my own. Soon, everything will come back to normal, and I promise you this. Not only as your older brother, but as your lover. _

_Sasuke, I'm going to ask you this right now. I need a straightforward answer, too, not just some confused jumble of words that barely describe what you really mean (unless you really mean that you don't know, then just say so). If you don't know, answer as soon as you can, but only through these letters, alright? _

_Do you still hate me?_

_I know, stupid question after all we've been through. I can't help it, Sasuke. It's just that…I can't stand the fact that you may hate me. If you do, say so. If you want me to leave, just say so. _

_But for now, you'll just have to tolerate this stupid stuff a little longer._

_I promise I'll make things right this time._

_From Anonymous. _

I was barely able to read it, or understand it at that point. I was exhausted, Itachi wasn't home, but since he wrote it he must've been home since I was. I ran my hands over my bruised lips and wished that it was Itachi who kissed me that night.

* * *

It took me forever to update! Sorry! 

Well, thank you for the reviews! Please review again, and DON'T JUST FAVORITE/ALERT IT! They make me happy, but reviews make me happier, for some odd reason. Tell me anything that you feel you need to tell me. Flames are accepted as constructive criticism, too, y'know.


	3. Just Talk

Okay, so it looks like I'll have to make a few things clear. Don't ask about Orochimaru's constant appearances. I would tell you what's going on, but…I can't so…yeah.

Grrr….Okay, let's hope this chapter will finally meet your high expectations!

* * *

**Chapter Three: Just Talk**

Itachi sometimes told me stupid stories of me being a stupid little kid. He'd always say them with that tiny, rare smile on his face as he recalled all the idiotic things that I did. I asked him once how he remembered it all. His reply was, "Sasuke, how could I ever forget?" He would ruffle my hair rather playfully, the same kind of gesture of affection that he would show to me when I was younger.

The one story that seemed to stick out most wasn't really a stupid one. Itachi was in some sort of a bad mood (Itachi hates to lose, even to death – apparently he failed to save some old guy in a heart attack), and he was extra defensive and aggressive. At night I mustered up the courage to go into his room and snuggle up next to him like a younger brother for once. A smile was finally brought up to his face as he said in a soft voice,

"I still remember the day when I first saw you. You were such a small kid, and the doctors said that you were smaller than usual, but it was nothing serious. Father and Mother were talking to each other quietly – you were asleep in Mother's arms. At that time, I was…about five, and…I don't know, scared to go inside. You were there, with fuzz on your head as your hair and all the aspects of newborn babies. Mother told me to come, and I did. She said something, but I wasn't listening because once I reached out for you, your eyes opened and your fingers wrapped around my own." I looked up at him at the point, and his eyes were avoiding mine.

We didn't say anything for the rest of the night, but immediately I felt special – a weird feeling that I rarely get. A smile reached my face as I closed my eyes, getting ready for sleep.

I guess I was so happy that I got some part of Itachi that was mine – all mine.

* * *

"Get up, Sasuke. You're going to be late. Again."

Now usually I'd groan and beg for five more minutes of the heaven called slumber, but today was different. I finally heard the voice I've wanted to hear for a long time, telling me the same things that I've always dreaded. I sat up quickly, blinking many times to make sure that this reality wasn't a dream.

I saw Itachi standing at the doorway, his expression tired and serious, staring at me with his eyes shifting up and down. "Well?" He was still impatient. "Get up." Turning on his heel, he left me in my bedroom. I frowned, wondering if this was the way he'd greet me after the few days that he's been avoiding me and bringing my life back to the confused flurry of stupidity and dreams.

"Aniki?" I muttered out, not afraid to use that term of endearment. Itachi paused, shook his head and continued walking.

"Sasuke, hurry up. You're not going to get any breakfast, now."

I felt like a dog. "Threaten me with no food, huh? Well I'm used to it now," I muttered irritably, though in a way so he couldn't hear. I kicked the door as I passed after I changed, just to show a sign of aggravation. The car's engine started up, and I grabbed as many things that I needed for school into my already fat backpack.

I jumped down the stairs and out the door, already thinking of how my life would change back to normal if we could just settle this now.

* * *

"…"

"…"

Itachi didn't even look at me. His eyes were completely focused on the road, which was an odd thing because I knew my brother to be a master at multi-tasking. The silence that descended upon us made me feel odd and uncomfortable, and there was nothing to focus on – Itachi decided to be mean enough to turn off the radio.

"…Well?" I said, my eyes slightly narrowing. So much for thinking that I could settle this easily.

Itachi's gaze shifted to me for a split second before again focusing on the road. "Well what?" He muttered. My stomach twisted itself into a form that it shouldn't take. I was really trying his patience, and I didn't even do much. And that probably meant that this was going to be a pretty rough conversation.

"What's been going on?" I asked flatly, crossing my arms and reading the license plate of the car in front of me. _Sunagakure. _Hm. Foreigner.

"What're you talking about?" Itachi answered, his voice not hitching or missing a beat. He answered quickly enough to make people think he didn't have to think of an answer, but he answered slowly enough so that people wouldn't suspect him of lying. I bit my lip. Maybe he'd stick to the fact that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Or maybe the one I was writing letters to lately wasn't him. Too many maybes. I need more definitely's.

"You know what I'm talking about. You're avoiding me. You're sending stupid letters to me. You're telling Orochimaru to stalk me and basically letting him rape me everyday in his car."

Itachi didn't wince…or move, for that matter. I noticed his eyes narrow, though. He was trying a little harder to focus on the road and not this conversation. The car in front of us stopped abruptly, and Itachi did the same. "Idiot drivers," He mumbled. Once the car from Sunagakure moved away, he turned into a different direction, into an alleyway and stopped the car.

"What're you doing?" I demanded, glaring at him and sending him the signature Uchiha scowl. Itachi didn't even try to deflect it. He leaned his head back against the chair and ran his hand through his long black hair. Itachi's eyes were closed, but an anxious and annoyed look dominated his face anyway.

"Sasuke. Don't talk about it, okay." Itachi doesn't question you. He doesn't really believe in question marks when it comes to me. It's an order. Even the doctors and nurses in the hospital know that, too.

The little hole in my arm that was from the mysterious guy who gave me a shot started itching slightly. I resisted the growing temptation to touch it, or even make a movement to show that it was irritating me. I scratched my knee, trying to pay attention to that and not the throbbing arm.

"Why did you pull up here in the first place?" I'm all about questioning. I'm the type of person who doesn't know everything, but doesn't believe in 'Ignorance is Bliss' because ignorance is the last thing that I want. Maybe I should grow up to be an interrogator in the FBI or something. I still don't know.

"Nothing. Don't talk about it," Itachi said flatly, changing the gear to reverse and driving us out of the alleyway.

Immediately, I knew the conversation was over.

The school was in sight, anyway.

While Itachi wasn't looking, I slapped my arm, hard.

* * *

My fingers wrapped around the handle when the car halted to a stop. I paused, hoping for some sort of miracle to happen that would re-initiate our relationship and erase the recent events of the past week. Ino's car parked a little further from us – she was getting out of her car.

"Sasuke."

I tensed instantaneously when I heard his voice again, saying my name in that gentle way that made my body freeze in a good way (possible or impossible?). Turning slowly to face him, my decision was made not to say anything.

Itachi held a hesitant look on his face as we just stared at each other for a while. I could feel my expression hardening as these thoughts ran through my head: _Do something, you bastard! Anything! _A small smile that has become rare these days appeared as his fingers caressed my cheek, as if I just woke up from a coma that I've been in for many months.

My hand eagerly left the doorknob as I shifted closer to him – Itachi's hand never left my cheek. I let the whisper of _"Aniki" _leave my lips before he kissed me for the first time in what seemed like forever.

My watch alarm went off, telling me to stop making out with your brother and get to school. Neither of us listened. We both stayed in the car for a longer eternity than that of the recent short torture that I've been through. My arm started throbbing again; I tried to hide the pain and pull back the grimace that was itching to dominate my face. No, I wouldn't let them destroy this moment.

It didn't stop me from feeling this wet liquid from running down my arm.

Okay, moment is officially destroyed.

Itachi pulled away from me swiftly, his eyes staring at my bloodstained shirt. He ran a hand through his hair and muttered something under his breath, something that I couldn't quite make out. "Well?" His voice wasn't soft anymore. I inhaled and held my breath. "You're going to be late. Get to school. Wash off that arm before anyone sees."

My eyes lowered hopefully before he could capture the hurt that I hope weren't appearing. My free hand opened the door as I slung the heavy backpack over my shoulder, making my way through the empty parking lot and into the school.

Once I reached the doorway, I turned around just to see that the car was gone, but a black car was just leaving the school grounds.

* * *

"Late again, Uchiha-kun?" Tsunade stood at the doorway, her glossed lips pursed tightly. She doesn't have any pity for seniors who have been here since freshman year. Tsunade jerked her head towards the classroom door. "Hurry and this is your last warning. Don't make me speak to your brother."

Scowling at her, I left for the English room. Speaking to my brother won't do anything.

* * *

**Lunch Topic: **Something about something I don't know

We're still idiots. I wondered what we'll do once we go to college. Now that I'm thinking about it, Itachi isn't putting much stress into college – I've already done my SATs. I only enrolled in Konoha College and a few other ones, some not so fancy and some for the gifted kids (Itachi insisted that I at least try). The results haven't come in yet, but I could care less.

My ideal life isn't that of a professional. If I had a choice, I'd live on ten million part-time jobs in a dirty apartment complex with no real worries. The future, as you can see, isn't anything I think about. I'm too busy thinking of the _now._

Is that a bad thing?

The conversation at the lunch table remained unknown to me as I reached into my backpack just to pull out that letter Itachi wrote to me last night. I sighed, deciding I should answer it now to get it over with. Eyes were on me as an extra sheet of the product of trees were pulled out of a folder and placed on another product of trees.

I sent them death glares, and the pairs of eyes scattered and looked away.

_To: Unknown_

_Are you glad, now? Did you really expect me to keep shut? Or did you abruptly trust me just to see that your trust was thrown away oh so suddenly? You can have a temper, too, big brother. Not just a temper – a really short temper. Short tempers equal impatience. Huh. No wonder we're brothers._

_But that's not the point._

_I thought that you'd know by now. You might know me from my small habits to my personality, but you don't even know yourself, Itachi. You say that you'll do this; you say that it'll be alright, but what you don't realize is that when it comes to you, it just won't happen. You promise that you'll spend time with me. You claim that everything will go on fine from now on. Yeah, right. _

_If you still won't let up, I'll say this: Will you promise to keep your promise? _

_It's the one thing I can cling on to right now – don't make me fall down again, Itachi. The last thing we both want is each other's leave, and I know that. I trust you, but things can't go on like this forever. For once, you really have to trust me. And maybe you should just trust yourself._

_You can't go on like this forever._

_Didn't I say a long time ago that I fucking love you in a letter? Didn't you believe me? _

_I won't scramble for words again, Aniki. _

_From, Anonymous_

"Sasuke-kun? What are you writing?" A pale arm reached over to grab the paper. My instant reflexes made their move and seized my victim's arm, placing it into a death grip that was paired up with a death glare. "Ah! You don't have to be so defensive about it!" Ino frowned, tugging her arm out of my hand and crossing them. A red mark was in my hand's place. For all I know, she'll run to the bathroom and squeal that Uchiha Sasuke had made a mark on her and hopefully it'll never go away or something stupid like that.

"Geez, Sasuke, don't _remind _me," Kiba groaned, watching me as I messily stuffed the letter into my backpack. "Those letters were complete torture, but they were sort of a laugh seeing who the girls got." Akamaru poked his head out of Kiba's bag and barked. Kakashi-sensei, the teacher who was watching us for lunch, jerked up, looked around, then sighed and slumped back into his seat.

For four years, Kiba and Akamaru have evaded the teachers' watchful eye. For four years, their watchful eye has always been looking at me – not like they would a troublemaker like Naruto, but like they would to an injured animal that was taken in and recently healed. It's as if they're expecting me to get into trouble, to get hurt, to break down and cry at any second. That much hasn't changed since I've been here. And it seems like it won't, because the watching and the protectiveness that's been around since forever did not disappear when Itachi came by.

It's like they're _expecting _Itachi to hurt me.

Well, that hurts me a lot.

"Uhh, Sasuke-kun, by the way," Ino said, suddenly sounding nervous again. Sakura nudged her and shook her head. All eyes were on me now, as if I said something that was taboo loudly.

"What?" I growled, trying to stare right back at her without fazing at all. Ino turned and consulted with Sakura, and I could hear some bickering and some agreeing with some, _I don't know how to say this. _"Bluntly. Just spit it out, what is it you want to say?" Being ignorant is still the last thing I want/need. Being deprived of information is the same thing, and that's what I'm feeling right now.

"Well, have you been in…" - Ino gave a loud 'ahem' and continued – "relationships lately?" A fake smile was plastered on her face, like a happy clown who, in reality, doesn't want to do his job. She kept looking apprehensively around her, expecting help, but none of the students wanted to get into the conversation.

Her words dug into my mind as I started to wonder if they knew about my (destroyed?) relationship with my brother. I started ordering my body to stop showing signs of anxiousness, like blushing, tugging at my shirt, or constantly shifting my position in the chair. No, Sasuke, stay still and look confused.

Then again, I never was a good actor, now was I?

"No, what made you think that way?" I asked, giving her the best confused and offended look as I could. Kiba narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Trying my best not to gulp, I stood up from the table and slung my bag over my shoulder. I didn't wait for an answer; instead I told everyone that I was heading for the roof. They all sighed, and Ino gave out a long gasp of relief.

Must look into this.

* * *

The bell rang loudly, and I sighed. So far, there's no black car in sight. Yet so far, there's no Itachi in sight either. Well, either way it didn't matter. I wanted a solitude walk home, anyway. It gives me a chance to think about things clearly, what I should do, what I should have done. What has been done, what is the inevitable.

What Itachi's thinking. What I really want.

"Sasuke-kun, need a ride home?" a silver car pulled up beside me, and the window was pulled down. Sakura smiled at me, in a way that a friend would. She recently gave up on her crush on me, mainly because of my relationship with Itachi, but then again, a lot of people did. And what I mean by a lot of people, I mean Naruto.

"No, I'm fine." So what if I decided to be polite right now? I have to admit, she's helped me with a lot last year, with getting over lots of things and learning to keep certain things secret. It makes me feel a little horrible, being indebted to her, of all people.

"You sure…? Oh. Okay," Sakura mumbled, her voice tinted with disappointment as the window pulled up again. The car drove off, leaving me alone in the parking lot.

Usually, Sasuke time is the thing that I need the most. Right now, I guess I'm not usual. When the car drove out of sight, I fought the sudden urge to run after it and scream that I'd changed my mind. Company is one thing that humans always need, and when people think they don't need it it's when they need it the most. Funny, the way I figure my mind out right after I said the wrong thing.

Feeling something wet right in the middle of my head, I realized that I hadn't watched the weather channel tomorrow and it was raining. Raining. Again. No hood. Again. I really need to get another jacket. Not wanting to make a fool of myself by covering my head with my backpack (and not wanting to waste the energy); I began the mile walk home.

* * *

"_I just want to ask you a question for once."_

"_Which is?"_

"_Will you accept me as I am?"_

"_Are you stupid or something? Of course. Why'd you think I'd go through the trouble sending you a letter begging for you to come back? It's alright now."_

"…_You sure?"_

"_I'm sure, so stop worrying about it. Besides, you'd just make it worse if you go. You don't have to worry about Konoha. If they do anything to you, I'll get you out." _

"_You're not capable of such a thing."_

"_I can do it. I'm serious. Not a lot of people know, anyway. And I know a few people that will accept you anyway."_

"_I guess so."_

"_You don't sound too assured."_

"_A man can't be too careful."_

"…_Are you still moving back to Konoha?"_

"_Sort of…Well, I have to go to the officials in order to do that. I'll be under surveillance for a while, I think. If the officials accept my being back in Konoha, then everything will be set."_

"_That's great. Finally…I can love you again."_

"…_I love you, too, Sasuke."

* * *

_

Now tell me why the hell did that feel like it happened so long ago? It was resolved just like that, only to be broken into pieces again? I bit my lip so hard that it drew blood. Blood still tastes metallic, coppery. Maybe a taste that I'm still too accustomed to. I nearly slipped on a lifted sidewalk, mainly because of my mind that was lost in thought and the damp ground.

* * *

"_So, Sasuke…" Itachi settled down next to me with an odd smug smile on his face. I sheepishly smiled back. He actually complied with my wish of having an informal anniversary date (Anniversary being the day when he came back to the village), and that was suspicious. Itachi might like simplicity when it comes to other people, but for some reason, not to me._

"_What is it?" I asked, tapping my fingers on the table. Nothing really is as informal as a Chinese restaurant. Well, not really, but this one in particular. It wasn't dirty, but it didn't have chandeliers or anything like that. Itachi brought his hand over and placed it on mine, silencing the tapping noises that I was making. "What, is it annoying?" I frowned._

"_No." Itachi's smug smile turned into that gentle one that was reserved just for me. "I just wanted to hold your hand."

* * *

_

That happened a few months ago, but that seemed so far away, too. It's really funny how a few days apart can make _me _fall apart, too. Am I truly nothing without him? If I'm alone, am I worthless? No, scratch that, do I feel worthless? It finally registered in my mind that I did feel insignificant, like I was a toy that was eventually thrown away. I got boring. I got old. There's something else occupying his time…

I shook my head. No. He's not doing that.

But there was a possibility that he was grounded from the toy.

* * *

_The batch of fortune cookies was brought in by the waitress with the check. Itachi took his own, first, placing it on his plate just to say that it was his. I blinked, and took the one that Itachi had forsaken as he pulled the check towards himself. _

_For some reason, I had a premonition something good was going to happen. My fingers fumbled as I attempted to open the wrapping it was in, and during the process that should only take a second but was now taking a few minutes, I felt my brother's eyes on me. No way was I going to look pathetic in front of him, even if it was about a stinking fortune cookie, no way…_

_The wrapping opened and I hastily broke it in half. Something fell onto the table, with a note. The restaurant seemed to be in silence, or maybe it was my mind blanking out because of shock. All I could see was that circular diamond thing, lying on the table. All I could feel were Itachi's eyes on me, with his reserved smile shimmering brightly above the surface of his face. _

_I refrained from saying the feminine, "Oh my God" as I picked up the ring. It was beautiful, and I swore I saw it at the store with a very high price tag slapped on it. My hands were shaking as I picked up the note, and on it read, _

_Will You Marry Me? From Anonymous_

_And yeah, I said yes.

* * *

_

Maybe we were too young. Maybe we were too naïve to know that the relationship was eventually going to go the wrong way. The house was in sight, the ring was constantly hidden in my pocket (Itachi insisted that if I wore it people would receive suspicions, which was true, knowing Ino).

I opened the door, and shut it behind me quietly. Itachi's car was pulled up in the driveway, so I kept my guard up. I heard a voice from my brother's study, a voice that I immediately recognized as Itachi's. Stepping forward to hear what was going on; I could make out most of the words.

"Yes…Wait, what…? No! Kakashi-san, what the hell are you…?" Typing noises. Itachi turned the volume up and I could make out someone from the computer saying the word _Sasuke _and someone whispering the word _Aniki. _"God, who the hell did this…? Ugh. Okay, thanks."

Itachi hung up the phone, then dialed another number. "What. Do. You. Think. You're. Doing?" Obviously pissed off. "I don't care I-…I did what you said!" A sigh. "Do you realize what you did? What this will do to Sasuke?"

I flinched at the sound of my name. I peeked through the crack of the study, catching a view of Itachi sitting in front of his computer, on the phone. I couldn't see what was on the computer monitor, unfortunately.

"Yes. Alright. Fine." Itachi hung up. I watched him as he deleted computer history and the cookies, then turn off the computer. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I decided to run away before he would catch me.

When Itachi leaves the house, I'm going to find that video.

* * *

_To, Unknown_

_No, Sasuke, I still trust you. Just don't talk about it again, alright. Never. Now, maybe if you're smart enough you'll be able to figure the consequences out. _

_Sasuke, maybe I don't know myself, but judging from your actions and your words, I doubt you know me either. This is most definitely hard on you, and I know that. Don't you think I know my inability to keep promises by now? You have to know that I really want to keep them, I really want to be your ideal older brother, your ideal soul mate, your ideal everything. This is a horrible excuse, but it seems like fate hates me._

_And I promise to keep my promise. I swear upon it. You know that this is so unlike me, Sasuke, but at the moment, I'm glad to make this change. If I do let you fall again, Sasuke, I'll take the fall for you. All you have to do now is trust me. You clearly stated that in your previous letter, but seeing how you want extra reassurance from me, you don't. _

_I do trust myself, maybe a little less than I should be, and I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about everything._

_Honestly, though. Can't we just talk? Go over what we missed so that this won't happen ever again?_

_It's amazing. This letter doesn't sound like me at all. Maybe I don't know myself._

_From Anonymous

* * *

_

Well, I updated as soon as I could! I hope you like!

MANGA CRAZINESS. EXCUSE ME IF I TAKE A LONG TIME TO UPDATE.

Also, I might post up a story while I'm doing this one. Judging by the outline of the story I made in my fanfiction notebook, it seems like it'll be pretty good! Well, hope you enjoyed and PLEASE REVIEW.

KoneKo


	4. Lives are Minefields

Aw, thank you guys! Did the last chapter catch your imagination?? Well, here goes again. The manga seriously got in the way, with all the craziness. Uchihacest fans shall riot you, Kishimoto…No offense… (After the manga, I stared at the computer screen blankly, wondering how I should write now). But, maybe I'll be able to stand again, if Kishimoto builds me that crutch of hope…

There's a second reason for my break in writing. You video game players, you should know that Super Smash Bros. Brawl recently came out. Yeah, I've been too busy playing that all day long.

There's a third reason, too. Writer's block. Get it now?

Either way, author's note is over, on with the craziness of my weird writing.

* * *

**Chapter Four: Lives Are Minefields**

Every single day, allow me to say that I'm afraid. My older brother and I barely have fights, but that doesn't stop me from hoping that one wouldn't break out and force the same thing to happen all over again. Its not me to say this, but _hope _might be the only thing out there that is truly looking after me. So far, it likes me, its just _fate _that gets in the way.

I have nothing else to say about the past. Maybe I should stop lingering on it and move on, while clinging onto the present and the future, climbing up the ladder of life without looking down to see how far I went as I reach the heavens.

* * *

_To, Unknown_

_The writing below might sound offending._

_I'm not an idiot, Aniki. The consequences have to do with a stupid shot that was given to me in my arm, right? _

_It doesn't matter, though, what I really, really want to know is who in the world would want to mess with our lives, of all people? I find nothing special about the two of us (except for a few minor details…). Did you do something wrong, or was it something that I did? _

_Never mind._

_I'll admit it – I don't know you as much as I want to. I want to know every aspect of you, Aniki. Everything. Maybe it's your fault, maybe it's mine, but that doesn't matter. If you let me know you, then things might change. _

_You never keep your promises. This is the millionth time I said it, so here it comes again: You never keep your promises. There is a limit to my tolerance. There is a limit to how many chances one person can get. Your promise to stay with me and make sure nothing like this would happen ever again is already fading. There's still time to save it. _

_Going back to the 'limits', there is a limit to how much trust I can put in you right now._

_And there is also a limit to how many times one can say the words 'I'm Sorry' in their lifetime. Would you shut up? Not everything is your fault; it's partly mine, partly Orochimaru's, too._

_That letter does not sound like you, Aniki. It sounded like a weaker one – the one that I was always unsure of. _

_It sounded like the confused teenager that ran away from home._

_From, Anonymous_

_P.S. Maybe we should just talk. Do whatever you want. I still want to know why you left me in the first place. Why you killed my parents in the first place. You never explained it thoroughly, so now's the chance. _

* * *

I was lucky when I set the alarm clock to an earlier time. As I suspected, Itachi wasn't home, the letter I wrote last night was gone, but still not replaced with a new one. Oh, well. Give him some time to think about what to say next.

Today's mission was to find out what video was posted on the internet (that probably ruined my life). What in the world could have made my brother that shocked? Maybe not shocked…pissed off would be a better word. The problem was, what was I supposed to search? If I search Itachi, Sasuke, and Uchiha, maybe that would help, but would the poster be so…obvious?

There were too many things that I had to think about, and this was being one of them. I got ready for school and left, trying not to look like I'm in a rush, just in case Orochimaru would drive up and pull another one of his dirty tricks. Then again, I tried not to go too slow. The last thing I want to do is worry another teacher, make my friends confused, and make my life confused…again.

But it turned out that today, Orochimaru left me alone. A mixture of relief and apprehension was placed in the blender of my chest (a rather worn-out blender, I might add). Sure, I was ecstatic about the pervert leaving me alone. But sure, I was worried that maybe he thought enough damage was done for a while. A surprise was waiting for me at school – I knew it.

* * *

Entering school, sweet silence, no weird gapes, and no weirdoes that I give weird gapes to, no teacher to reprimand/get worried about me, no nothing. Finally, I was on time for school without having to depend on my brother. Finally, there wasn't any Orochimaru to ruin my attendance even more. Finally, there would be a day of peace, even if the battlefield is only waiting for the next blows.

When class starts, I receive a few odd stares from people. So you can scratch off that third thankful note from the note above. Sweet silence is over, too. What is a teenager like me to do, cut all ties with everyone and believe that when you're alone, you can't hurt anyone and no one can hurt you? I've already tried that, and trust me; it didn't work out so well.

If you're alone, you can hurt yourself…And that's the worst thing you can do. It's one of the most valuable lessons that I have managed to teach myself, and now it's something that I have to teach Itachi.

Lunch time. I sat at my normal spot. Hinata was sitting there already, and when I sat down she flinched, blushed, looked down shyly at her food and didn't take another bite for the rest of the lunch. Even though I didn't know the Hyuuga girl so well, I did know for a fact that she does that when she's guilty, or when she's trying to keep a secret (and miserably failing). But I decided not to pressure the poor girl. Right now, I still don't know if that was a mistake or the right thing to do.

Sakura and Ino arrive next, with Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji trailing behind. The group of blabbering people paused when they stood in front of our table, eyes trying to avoid my suspecting gaze. Note that I used the word trying in the previous sentence. They were unsuccessful in trying to make me feel better. They were successful in making me feel worse.

_What in the world was that fucking video about??_

**Lunch Topic: **On the outside, it's about something we did in class that I forgot. On the inside, it's about that video.

"So…wasn't sensei going a little overboard today?" Ino exclaimed nonchalantly. Almost too nonchalantly.

"He was? Damn, my spaghetti tastes bad, again." Chouji muttered.

"Yeah, yeah…But did you hear about…?" Kiba began. I feel his eyes on me, but then Ino nudges him sharply, giving me a little glance just to check if I heard him. Hell yeah, I heard him. And hell yeah, sometimes, I wish I didn't.

"Here about what?" I ask, voice casual. Don't care. Don't care. Don't care. Don't give a shit/fuck/whatever other curse word that may or may not calm down a boy who over uses curses like me.

I watch the faces in the group change from normal and occasionally sheepish to color-less. They all gave each other nervous glances, drumming they're fingers on the table, nibbling uneasily on their food…and all. Those signs that show that they're hiding something. Those signs that I see way too much.

"Oh, it's nothing, Sasuke. I bet you already heard about it, though!" Sakura, the only person who carries a truly worried face, declares. She kicks my shin softly. I've known her for so long that I can read the expression on her face. _I'll talk to you about it later. _

Hopefully, during that later, my reputation won't be as destroyed as my relationship with my brother.

I snuck out to the roof, where I hope that Sakura would know I would go to. Dark clouds were in the sky, giving the day this dull edge that made everything seem to feel crappier than usual. To tell the truth, the day was crappier than usual. With all the craziness going on, crappiness is the essence of today…

I'm just saying the same thing over and over again, so I should shut up now.

Sakura was taking a long time. A pit of anger stretched itself in body, waiting to devour its host. I was angry at Itachi, Orochimaru, the group of gossiping friends, the entire school body, the unknown video on the internet, and the unreliable Sakura. To abbreviate that, I was mad at the entire world.

Back to gossiping…I hate those who gossip. Whether it's real or not, it gets pretty annoying. It's like they have nothing better to talk about, other than the person behind you or the person in front of you. My mother told me a long time ago, those who talk about others don't get anything done, and those who talk about their ideas reach their goals.

I don't know about you, but I want to reach my goals.

Whatever they are.

"Hey, Sasuke!" Sakura's voice. I barely stopped my body from jumping in surprise. "Get over here; I need to show you something."

_That unknown video that's already trashing my trashed-up life? _"Uh…Ok."

Sakura lead me to an empty classroom and turned on her laptop. She pulls up the internet and clicks favorites, then clicks something under '…' I scowled as her laptop started to act retarded. Why did she put such a thing under _favorites? _Why can't there be a tab where it says '_things that I don't like but might want to visit over and over again'_? How irritating.

"Here." Sakura stood up and ushered me into the chair, almost shoving the screen of the computer in my face. I have to admit, my heart was racing at that moment. I placed the laptop back on the desk and just started watching intently.

There wasn't a note in the beginning of the video – it just cut right to it. All the organs in my body decided to play the game 'Mercy' with itself. There it was that scene in the car. Itachi stopped the car; I was ready to step out. Any watcher who pays attention could tell that I was hesitating before I left.

"_Sasuke." _

I closed my eyes, and then re-opened them. Everything (at least, my school dilemma) made sense now…too much sense that it hurt. I felt Sakura move behind me. I watched myself kiss my own brother. The game of 'Mercy' is still raging on in my body, each piece of me wanting to be the last one standing.

"_Aniki…"_

I felt sick.

My hands moved on their own, pressing the info. All it said was: _The Uchiha brothers…making out? _How utterly embarrassing. The person who posted the video went under the name of _SSO. _(My mind switched the letters around to _S.O.S._) They didn't post anything else, nor did they change anything in the profile and such. The comments were mixed, with _'that's totally wrong' 'OMG that's hawt!!' 'who are the Uchiha brothers?' _and _'incest is a sin!' _

Mercy is still going on. Every part of me wants to scream, just scream and let it out, fall down on their knees and beg for mercy…whose mercy, I have no clue. The world's mercy. My friends' mercy. Naruto's mercy. Orochimaru's mercy. Itachi's mercy.

The video's over. It's only about fifteen seconds of torture for me. Fifteen seconds can easily equal fifteen centuries in one's (my) brain.

"Sasuke…are you okay?"

My instincts and personality told me to say 'Yes'. My body told me to say 'No'. And since every part of me was screaming, I had no idea who to listen to anymore. My brain shrieked that I was just overreacting. Get over it; break up with your brother. My heart (oh this is so clichéd) cried that I should do the right thing. Keep your relationship without destroying your life…find a way for harmony. Yeah, well, sorry heart, everything else in my body, especially my stomach, just wants to find a toilet or a garbage can to throw up in.

If you excuse me.

* * *

Cutting the rest of my classes at school made me feel better. Sakura covered for me in any way she could. I trusted her enough to make a plausible story for my escape. Walking out here…my mind goes back to when I last skipped school the day my parents died. People staring at me, whispering to each other, _"Shouldn't that boy be in school?" _

Seeing as my body has calmed down and relaxed, the impulse to retort something rude wasn't as strong as it was before.

* * *

On the way home, this is what happened: I turned a corner, held back a gasp, and hid behind the corner. There was my brother, talking to that Orochimaru. I didn't dare to watch them converse. It was too much of a risk, so I had to make do with what I could hear.

"Nothing like that will ever happen again, I assure you. Just take that damn video off the internet!" Itachi demanded, his voice filled with resentment. I bite my lip. It's hard to try to keep yourself from screaming out things even when you know it's not the right time.

"No. It's your punishment for not respecting our deal," Orochimaru responded coolly.

His tone of voice obviously angered my brother. I heard a few footsteps and a resounding pound, along with a shaken groan from the snake-like man. I pictured the scene in my head: Itachi seizing the bruised Orochimaru by the collar of his shirt, whispering and roaring at the same time, "What the hell are you talking about? That wasn't a deal, it was blackmail!"

Orochimaru chuckled, amused by the fact that he had coaxed my brother to lose his cool. "Keep this behaviour up, Itachi, and things might just get worse." He chortled at him. I imagined him shoving Itachi away and wiping himself off. "I suggest you do something about your relationship with your brother. Soon. No matter what you think or how your deformed mind works, that boy isn't your property."

"He isn't yours, either."

"Hm. We'll see about that."

Footsteps coming towards me. No matter who it was, I had to move, so that's what I did. School wasn't an option, and I didn't think home was much of one, either. But in a situation like this, there's really no place like home.

* * *

_To Sasuke…_

_Sorry to break your 'Unknown' streak, little brother. I'm too tired to do much, and too tired to think._

_I can't say much more, but words can't explain how much I want to. Summarizing my reply to your letter can be as simple as a blink of an eye…for me, it isn't. It's getting tougher for me to answer you – it feels like we're running in circles again, taking our time to accuse each other of our flaws and perfections and trying to convince each other that it will be okay._

_Maybe now's the time to admit that there's more than a fifty percent possibility of things not being okay. You have no idea how frightening it is for me to say this. I'll just be honest with you. Every time I write one of these letters, I think that it will be the last time. Every time I see your face, my mind automatically assumes that it's the last time. It feels like my life is in a minefield and one wrong move could ruin everything. And we all have to confess that our lives are minefields…_

_I'm terribly sorry if I'm not the brother you knew anymore. I know for a fact that through these years I've grown weaker in the parts that I used to be strong in. I don't know what's happening to me but…for the first time in my life, I really feel…_

_Scared? _

_Oh yeah. I said sorry again. I can't apologize for that, now can I?_

_I'll answer your question some other time, Sasuke. I mean, the one when you asked why I killed your parents. I just need some time to think. _

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_To…Unknown._

_You're still unknown, bastard. Who are you and what have you done to my brother? God. I miss you. I really do. _

_May I mention that preposterous video on the internet? With you and me in that car the other day? Orochimaru did that, didn't he? My life is ruined because of that video – half of my friends give me 'the look' when they think I'm not looking. It's so annoying. Please tell me that the authorities or the big guys haven't seen it yet. _

_Is that video enough for them to take you away from me? Or me away from you? _

_That's still the number one thing I'm scared of. You, leaving. You, being taken away. You, dying. It's all you! Shit, if I were a Sim, under all my fears there'd be your face! And right now, you're as good as road kill – you're long gone now! Goddamn it! You think you have it so bad! _

_Since you've convinced yourself that everything's going to turn out wrong, I need to convince you that you're not the only one. We're blood brothers. We're lovers. You're my fiancée. _

_If anything, don't forget that._

_From, Anonymous._

* * *

Sorry if this chapter is shorter than usual. For me, it's…more like it's more emotional. Since I'm cutting this series down, some chapters might me longer than usual, others might be shorter. But hey, I'm back!! Please review nicely!


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